The Night Before Finals

  Twas the night before finals,

  And all through the college,

  The students were praying

  For last minute knowledge.

  Most were quite sleepy,

  But none touched their beds,

  While visions of essays

  danced in their heads.

  Out in the taverns,

  A few were still drinking,

  And hoping that liquor

  would loosen up their thinking.

  In my own apartment,

  I had been pacing,

  And dreading exams

  I soon would be facing.

  My roommate was speechless,

  His nose in his books,

  And my comments to him

  Drew unfriendly looks.

  I drained all the coffee,

  And brewed a new pot,

  No longer caring

  That my nerves were shot.

  I stared at my notes,

  But my thoughts were muddy,

  My eyes went ablur,

  I just couldn't study.

  "Some pizza might help,"

  I said with a shiver,

  But each place I called

  Refused to deliver.

  I'd nearly concluded

  That life was too cruel,

  With futures depending

  On grades had in school.

  When all of a sudden,

  Our door opened wide,

  And Patron Saint Put It Off

  Ambled inside.

  His spirit was careless,

  His manner was mellow,

  He started to bellow:

  "What kind of student

  Would make such a fuss,

  To toss back at teachers

  What they tossed at us?"

  "On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes!

  On Last Year's Exams!

  On Wingit and Slingit,

  And Last Minute Crams!"

  His message delivered,

  He vanished from sight,

  But we heard him laughing

  Outside in the night.

  "Your teachers have pegged you,

  So just do your best.

  Happy Finals to All,

  And to All, a good test."