Hot off the Presses

 Firm Grasp of the Obvious Department

(true newspaper headlines)

  From the Notebook pages of The New Republic 1995:

  Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link

  Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995

  Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us

  Holland Sentinal, date unknown.

  Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut

  The New York Times, November 22

  Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find

  The Los Angeles Times, November 2

  'Light' meals are lower in fat, calories

  Huntington Herald-Dispatch, November 30

  Alcohol ads promote drinking

  The Hartford Courant, November 18

  Malls try to attract shoppers

  The Baltimore Sun, October 22

  Official: Only rain will cure drought

  The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts

  Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men

  The Sunday Oregonian, September 24

  Low Wages Said Key to Poverty

  Newsday, July 11

  Man shoots neighbor with machete

  The Miami Herald, July 3

  Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes

  The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30

  Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows

  The New York Times, March 10

  Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies

  The Los Angeles Times, March 2

  Scientists see quakes in L.A. future

  The Oregonian, January 28

  Wachtler tells graduates that life in jail is demeaning

  The Buffalo News, February 26

  Free Advice: Bundle up when out in the cold

  Lexington Herald-Leader, January 26

  Prosecution paints O.J. as a wife-killer

  Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, January 25

  Economist uses theory to explain economy

  Collinsville Herald-Journal, February 8

  Bible church's focus is the Bible

  Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994

  Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons

  Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6

  Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity

  The Chicago Tribune, March 5

  Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear

  Journal of Commerce, April 20

  Biting nails can be sign of tenseness in a person

  The Daily Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 2

  Lack of brains hinders research

  The Columbus Dispatch, April 16

  How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says

  author Louise Hart

  Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5

  Fish lurk in streams

  Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January